don’t touch me….. please

i’m scared. i don’t like doctors. i don’t like hospitals. i don’t like being touched. he’s gonna touch us. touch us there. down below. it hurts so much. it makes me remember things. bad things. i can hide inside but i know it’s happening. it makes me feel dirty. used. bad. i’m scared.

jenny (9)

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9 thoughts on “don’t touch me….. please

  1. It’s horrible I know, but if it must be done to make you feel better I can only hope that the doctor is gentle and doesn’t hurt you. You’re not bad remind yourselves about that, is there anyone inside or outside that you can get support from while your examined? that can tell you that you’ve done nothing wrong and that it is going to make things better in the long run?
    Love, peace and strength to you all xx

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    • i hid inside. lots of scared kids. we hid together. safety in numbers. he didn’t touch us. this time. that was good. know it has to be done. hurts bad now. don’t like the pain. it reminds me. no pain will be good.
      thank you. for being nice.
      jenny

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      • I’m glad you all managed to support each other and that he didn’t touch you though I’m sorry you were all so scared.
        Keep reminding each other that it will make the pain go away in the end, the the biggers deal with the touching if it has to happen. Even those of us who are bigger still sometimes struggle with it so you are all so brave to go through with this!
        I always go with if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything. Works pretty well 🙂
        Safe ((hugs)) to you all xxx

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  2. jenny, you are right, that sounds upsetting. i am relieved to know that you can stay inside and you don’t have to feel any of it, but it is very understandable that the idea of it still upsets you. i know there are some very kind and trustworthy people in your system who understand how you are feeling and can offer comfort that feels safe to you. you are not alone, there are lots of people who care about you and sometimes just being with someone you like and who you trust can be so much better than hiding and worrying alone. sometimes just having someone to worry with can make you feel braver.

    you are not dirty or used or bad, you are a young girl who deserves to be kept safe and comforted and taken care of by safe, loving grown-ups. i’m sorry bad things happened in the past. i know what that’s like, and it isn’t fair. you are brave for speaking up here, well done for being able to say what you’re feeling. That means people can know what’s going on and offer you help and comfort. i’m proud of you for speaking up! and i hope you can find some people on the inside to be with while you are upset so you don’t have to worry alone.

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    • thank you. so much. crying. good crying. stayed with others. inside. safety in numbers. all scared. together. made it. through. all over. for now. good.
      don’t like dirty. used. bad. not right. too young. didn’t want. got anyway. wrong. inside better. no hurt. cared for. healed. much better. safer. wanted. for me. loved. inside. brave? scared. talking bad. always was. punished. not this time. better. thank you.
      jenny

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  3. This is a very triggering thing, and you have every reason to be anxious and scared. Try maybe to focus on something else and remind yourself that you are ok and it will be over soon. Good luck!

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