What’s the point?

I mean, what’s the point of this blog? It’s not like anyone bothers to read it, is it? It’s not like anyone listens. Nobody’s going to think we’re worth reading. We don’t have anything interesting to say. I suppose we could pour out our emotions, but that’s a crappy idea, we’ll just get shit on like we always do. Show a chink in the armour and someone’ll shove a knife into you. It’s like being back in school, standing on the outskirts of the group, trying to join the conversation, and just being ignored. Nothing’s changed. We’ll always be on the outside looking in. We’re nothing.

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16 thoughts on “What’s the point?

  1. You’re not nothing and even if no one reads or replys to you it’s good to be able to vent out the emotions. I know the fear of people judging you on here all too well…but have hope in the fact that most people who will read your posts are here to support others not put them down.
    Keep writing, all of you and allow those thoughts an outlet xx

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    • It’s hard coz we’ve always felt like the outsider, like we’re not really part of anything. I don’t see the point of trying when it never works… but you’ve replied, so maybe it does work sometimes. You gave me something to think about. Thank you.

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      • Being outside of the group is one most of the people I chat to on here can relate to. It’s hard at first but…if you look around at the other blogs, get chatting to people you’ll soon find that there are many like you out there who are more than happy to talk and listen (people will often stop reading if you don’t interact with them though). xx

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  2. We have found your blog very helpful. It’s always healing to read someone’s words and be able to relate. However, I think the more important thing is that you are getting something out of this. So, the point is — does this blog help with your healing in any way? Does it help you gain insight, or support, or help with internal communication?

    I think there is actually some indication that you might be triggered here — feeling alone, vulnerable, etc. For us, this is directly related to trauma. So, I hope you don’t regret this blog. I know sometimes healing gets very tiring, but …. well, there are those of us who ‘get that.’

    Be safe,

    Nel

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    • The others who’ve been writing here seem to like it and get something out of it. I’ve never tried before now coz I didn’t see the point. I guess I was blowing off steam. But yeah, it all feels like being back at school for me, so maybe I am a bit triggered. I was always the unwanted one, so much so that I don’t even have a name. Nobody ever talked to me so I never needed one.
      The others are pleased that you’ve got something out of the blog.
      Thanks for replying Nel.

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  3. I am more a reader than commenter. Life has taught a lot of us to be more observers, I think. That doesn’t mean I don’t care. It’s always healing to see the thoughts of others having a similar struggle.

    But the other commenters are right, you should also be getting something out of this just for you.
    Our blog helps us organize, helps those of us that are thought to be silent be heard, helps us see if there is a pattern to the highs and lows.

    But I also love the support I receive from others like me (especially your support!).

    And I am happily here giving warm thoughts and support back ❀ ❀ ❀

    -Pen

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    • Thanks Pen. I reckon we’re more of a lurker too, we read more than we post. Your blog has helped a lot of us feel not so alone. And here you are, helping me feel heard. Thank you, that means a lot. I’ll try and write more.

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  4. I often feel this way too. Once in a while, I can see things more positively, but not usually. This is definitely something I struggle with a lot of the time. So you are not alone in this experience, but lets hope if we keep working on it, it will change.

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    • It does help to know I’m not the only one who feels like this. Yeah, maybe we can change things if we keep trying. I dunno if I’ll ever feel less of an outsider, but I can write anyway, just for me, I suppose. Thanks for your support Kat.

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  5. you definitely matter, to me and to others. i wish you had shared your name so i could address this to you more directly but i know that there are times when i write as anonymous because i don’t think i matter, i hope that’s not the case for you but if it is, you’re not alone and you are important. we always read this blog and we actually wish you all posted more so we could get to know you better. we hope you will speak up here again so you join in the conversation πŸ™‚ i know what you mean about things seeming like scenes from school over again, but it looks like in this instance, these people commenting (and us!) are seeing you and liking what we see, and beckoning you to join our group and talk to us, even be our friend if you want. πŸ™‚

    i really hope you want to be our friend. i don’t know how old you are, and that doesn’t really matter because friends can be any age, but i think we probably have insiders who are near your age, and they could use a good friend who knows what it’s like to feel left out because they know that feeling too.

    -Hats

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    • oh i’m sorry i just now read the above comment where you said you don’t have a name, that makes me feel very sad for you because everyone deserves a name! have you thought about choosing one for yourself? you could pick something you really really like, or something unique and special like you are. one of our inside little girls named herself discobell, which is the most interesting and unusual name i’ve heard a a little girl have before! she loves her name because she chose it herself, and she felt lost and unwanted before she chose it because she felt like she wasn’t important enough to have a name. well now her name is the most interesting of all of us, and she is a lot happier. πŸ™‚

      you definitely deserve a name, it’s not fair that you don’t have one, i hope you get one soon. πŸ™‚

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      • Y’know, you guys are my inspiration. I read your blog all the time, and I’m envious of how you always have the right words. You’re definitely one of the cool kids! If you’ve got people who know how it feels to be the outsider, and want to be friends, I think I’d like that. I’m 15 coz that’s when we left school.
        I’m thinking about a name, but it’s got to be right. Discobell is a brilliant name. I’m glad she feels happier, she sounds like a nice kid. Blaine thinks she’s wonderful πŸ™‚
        Thanks so much for writing me, it means a lot.

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